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May 1st, 2005

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07:40 pm - blankity blank you blanking blank
i'm at a complete and utter loss as to what i'm doing, where i'm going ... this is the last week of school (finals week is the following but it's going to be rather uneventful, with just one final to speak of) ... on May 14 we are moving ... and i'm using it as an opportunity to really start over ... become something adult-like ... find some ambition again ... all i could think of was that i used to be so good ... i used to at least be able to feel like despondency and apathy wasnt the only emotion i could muster up ... ive eaten all day and read things ... scattered words here and there ... the hum and clatter of the television people is providing enough of a distraction to sate me ... i work half a day tomorrow and i'm still exhausted ... i slept and slept and slept for almost two whole weeks ... i still havent changed out of my sleep-clothes ... cultivating horrific habits ... my pants dont fit very well anymore ...
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: ryan adams - 'dear chicago'

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